There was a time I craved attention and recognition (which is actually human nature), and I would get really frustrated and disappointed when I didn't get it. I would then be mad at people who were supposed 'to be there' for me, which strained the relationship.
A few years ago, I got out of this cycle because I learned this one thing: Be the Change that you Wish to See.
Yes. If you want others and the world to change, change yourself first. The world will adjust.
If you want to be loved, love yourself.
If you want to be prioritized, prioritize yourself. Allocate time to do things you care about.
If you want to be heard, really pay attention to yourself. Pay attention to your emotions to find out areas that need your love and support the most.
If you are seeking external validation, validate and believe in yourself. It is human nature to always look for what we need externally, but real happiness and fulfilment come from within.
The world as a mirror
The world around us reflects our states, including our beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and how we treat ourselves. What we perceive in others is often a reflection of our own thoughts, biases, values, beliefs, etc.
There is this analogy that when you look into the mirror and don't like the reflection, you don't change the image in the mirror; you change yourself. Trying to change reality without changing yourself is like trying to change your reflection in a mirror without changing your face.
Rumi conceptualizes this really well by saying,” Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
Across psychological theory, Stoic philosophy, and modern consciousness studies, there is a converging perspective that human beings do not experience reality objectively. Instead, we interpret and project internal beliefs, emotions, and cognitive patterns onto the external world, which makes reality a reflective mirror of the inner state.
Carl Jung explained that, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” This means that what we react to externally reflects the unconscious material within us.
To explain how perception is filtered through internal states, Sigmund Freud explained that individuals attribute their unacceptable thoughts to others. (Does this mean if you don't love yourself, you will feel like others don't? Think about it).
Neville Goddard taught that "the world is you pushed out" to suggest that individuals encounter not an independent external reality, but a mirrored projection of their own beliefs and inner states.
To add to the perspective, Bashar explains that, “the physical reality is a mirror. It can only reflect back to you what you believe is true”.
Therefore, if you wish to see a change in the external world, make the change within yourself. If you wish to see love, be love. If you want your partner, siblings, or parents to support you…You know what to do.
As always, love and light to you, beloved reader.
